so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
