Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
