My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
