Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
How's work?
Spinning.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize