I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
he fucked my hip out of place.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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