i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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