the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
