Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
