So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
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