The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
