I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
