Sry I called you an 8
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
