i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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