His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
