Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
