So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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