I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
