are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
