Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
