trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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