3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
