What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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