help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
