he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
