How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
