The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
