i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize