Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
