What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
