Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
