Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Randomize
