Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
