these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
