im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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