Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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