just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
