You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
