he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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