i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
