I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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