worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
