The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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