Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
