It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
