I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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