As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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