Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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