i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Vodka?
Forever.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
