Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
