i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I need to sanitize my soul.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
