dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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