I like my sex mixed with concussions.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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