I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
