Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
