you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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