mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
