i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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