Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
