all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
