beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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