So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Did we literally take a cab across the street
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
