What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
