R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
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I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
