pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
