He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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