i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
